I’ve been in the depths of this lesson lately. It’s amazing. And, scary as fuck. Is it just me or does anyone else struggle to fully let go, do nothing and allow things to show up sometimes? The waiting room requires so much trust and patience. Plus, delicate inspired action. Not non-action. Important distinction. The Universe really likes to keep us on our toes. I do love and embrace the journey though. Honestly, even though I want it all, I’m in no rush. I want to live happily forever like Tuck Everlasting :)
It’s just that calming thy nervous system back to neutral is a thing sometimes. So much fear in there. Fear of not feeling safe to simply be/exist. Fear of disappointment and pain. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of being broken. Fear of dying. Fear of failure - eek a fate worse than death! :) I can barely breathe right now typing all this. But that’s what’s up.
This fear-based programming creates low self worth & disempowering belief systems. Those belief systems are what the outside stuff reflects. Want to see different outside stuff - (the yachts and planes yes, also, think world peace, love and harmony) - then create different belief systems. It is that simple. It’s not that easy.
The thing with creating different belief systems - integrating them - and then embodying them moment-to-moment is that it’s reeeeeeeaaaaallllllyyyyyy challenging to “Catch and reframe” (as Chenoa Maxwell says) constantly. It’s like a game of Wacamole. Right when you think you got ‘em, 10 more pop up all at once, faster and more intensely. Maybe it’s the universe’s game to help us strengthen and lock it in like muscle memory.
You have to ‘Catch and reframe’ every single time - EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. And when you don’t (which you won’t, because we’re perfectly imperfect humans) you have to let yourself off the hook completely, quiet the critical voice by letting that part of you know it’s seen and heard and also not needed while exercising the most amount of self-compassion you could ever imagine and reminding yourself to choose love no matter what the trigger is even though the volume of feels you feel all at once is AHHHHH. No wonder we’re exhausted!
The thing is, this practice is the bridge to the other side. (I think. I’m still free falling but I’ll report back when I land). It can be fun and funny. It’s just a choice to decide how you want to experience life. My take is - I can’t control shit. (I still try sometimes, oops. Look, I’m a work in progress.) I feel better when I’m living in love and light. And, I want to support people on that path even and especially when it’s hard to do. Because it’s possible. It requires dedication and commitment, and it’s totally fucking worth it.
What I’ve realized about the moments that feel overwhelming, is that sinking deeper into them and activating my breath is very soothing. Feels good to kick back, relax, let the wave hit and enjoy the ride as much as possible.
It always comes back to letting go. So, these are some of my most effective reminders/tools right now to surrender fully into my receptivity and allow the great unknown to guide my way with lots and lots of love and gratitude:
Receiving is the inward motion - I use this reminder as a meditation anytime and anyplace. I put my focus on my inhale and I invite it in. Whatever it is, however it feels, I welcome it and get mindful of the concaveness in my belly as I breathe in. I visualize creating the environment for a graceful catch (like a football receiver, even though I can’t name one lol) and then I breathe deeply in and relax into this moment with total acceptance of all that is. George Mumford inspired some of this.
Reconnect - Aaron Doughty has some great videos to help with this. Bring your awareness into your body. Use the breath to notice the felt sensation of whatever is happening within you and to run your energy through and within you for a clearing/filling up/restoring effect. Keep noticing it within you. Then ask yourself, “Do I feel reconnected?” If you hear or sense yes, let go and flow forth into the next moment free of useless noise!
It’s all about self love - That’s literally the prescription. There you go. Now you have all the medicine you need. I’m not a doctor but…It definitely works. Every, single time you get wobbly tune into how worthy and deserving you are of your own unconditional love. Doesn’t matter what’s happening outside of you or with anyone else. You can always choose you. Wrap yourself around yourself, fill yourself up with this love, and be with this truth until it shifts.
Fill yourself up fully first- What this actually means is different for everyone so explore for yourself. Generally, it’s how you access the experience an energetic wholeness/fullness/expanded state from within you before giving anything away. Become aware of noticing it and when you see what you need to know, put some more awareness on it.
Move slower. Slower than that - Woof this one. Get comfortable with uncomfortable, empty, open space. Don’t effort to fill it. Breathe into it. Be willing to see whatever it is you need to know. This is the deep work. It’s not always pretty. It really hurts sometimes. Breathe. You’ll get through it.
The lows are important and good - It’s safe to sit in them. SOOO hard for me to do this because in the lows my deepest wounds and pain that I spent so long running from in so many different ways are fully present and poking at me. Motivation — there’s no better feeling than embracing what comes up, breathing through it, and then getting to experience the weight dissolve. As Peter Evans says, this is the process of “Transmuting lead into gold."
You can change your mind in any moment - This used to cause me a lot of guilt but now that I know so much about Human Design (Thank you Tori and Danielle!) and my cray MG magic, I let myself pivot as many times a minute as I need and use it as practice of trust in self and the forces that support my journey. I choose to know, trust and believe that support serves mine and everyone else’s highest and best good.
The other choice is just one deep breath away - When the demons arrive on steroids, I remind myself that I get to choose how I want the narrative to be, I get to choose my thoughts, I get to create my perception and therefore my reality this way. Anything outside myself doesn’t matter - I can still choose the more empowering mindset. The other choice is just one deep breath (and often a dance) away.
Finally, as Gabby Bernstein says, “Just when you think you’ve surrendered, surrender some more!” Even when you want to quit and run away, keep going. Choose love. Stay open. Pump yourself up. You deserve it. We got this. <3